Sometimes I don’t want to share.
Sometimes I just don’t have the energy in me to give.
I want to be selfish and
with no explanation as to why.
I kissed her neck and shoulders. I felt faint with loving her so much.
My body is covered in bruises
and sobriety no longer agrees with me.
This morning I woke up freezing,
covered in debts and unsaid apologies.
You wouldn’t like me now.
My mouth is this dry graveyard of mistakes.
My eyes are clouding over.
I’ve been covering up the smell of loss
with whiskey and burnt bridges.
It’s a nail twisting through the ribs now,
it’s all dirty knees and dark tunnels.
Still, there is a boy or two trying to love me
like fire alarms love buildings they echo through.
They don’t understand, love is not a force
that can fix or save or heal.